You remember I blogged about that psychiatrist I had. Well due to them not having enough of them ( psychiatrist) I am lumbered with him. ( oh the joys).
And i have an appointment with him next Wednesday. My OT is coming with me. But I said he won’t do or say shit in your presents. He act all professional.
That psychiatrist gave me trauma by bringing up past misdiagnosis ( BPD ) And than my sexuality being asexual. He said he knew what it was and he never. And I quote unquote what he said. I am psychiatrist I know better than you and know what your sexuality means ( why the flying fuck it was brought up i never know).
When I was there for adhd medication. And nothing else. Yes I’m grateful my OT is coming but when you have ptsd. Its always going to set in my head. I can’t feckin win.
Anyway enough of that gobshite. More news. So the dwp , and that pip review thing. I got my answer back very quickly ( like 1 month ago).
Did they take note of said diagnosis of autism/ adhd and my OT letter. Did they fuck. They said nothing has changed i am still the same and so are my needs. OK than. Thats bollox. Very nice you extending it till 2026. But the fact is my needs have changed and also I am on ritalin. So I was on the phone earlier to my OT and I explained to her all this and that and they even ignored her professional letter and her job working with autism/ adhd folk. Yes they ignored her and that letter. ( dwp what do you expect).
So my OT said she is going to write a shitty letter lol 😆) to that women personally who went over my pip review. And who ignored everything. She is going to have the wrath of my OT. And I hope it sodding changes things.
I keep you updated on that and also when I see this shite psychiatrist next Wednesday.
As you know I am tattoo collector and have many many tattoos, I’ve been having them since i was 18. Months and months ago I started my blackout sleeve and a negative space blackout sleeve. Being a Buddhist for 14 years. I did this as a spiritual movement. Others do it for other reason.
Also you know I have been getting sober the last 1 year 5 months and having these blackout sleeves done was part of that journey. My sleeves are both finished ( well I am going to have the koi carp reworked and white bits in the ripples. Than it will stand out. ( thats my negative space blackout sleeve)
I’m not going into cost but it was over 5 sessions in about 3/4 months and 25hrs. And it was the most painful tattoo I’ve ever experienced in life and it hurt like hell. Erasing my old ink and the memories I had with the said ink. It was part of my healing and moving on process with the sobriety. In my own personal opinion I don’t think I would of been able to move further on if I did not have this done.
My tattoo’s artist is highly skilled and technical. And I gave him the colossal of doing it. And he did bloody awesome. He brought my visionary alive and to life. And I bloody love it.. and its a rad aesthetically pleasing tattoos to look at.
About 1 year and 5 months ago I decided to get sober. I did it for many reasons. But I did not know at the time before both diagnosis of ASD/ADHD. I was masking to the point where I was medicating with alcohol and I had been doing that since the age of 12/13 when I first started drinking. I drunk to look cool , I drunk to fit in and I drunk and got in the wrong crowds. I moulded myself to society by drinking and also doing drugs. I was never addicted to drugs but I did it because It was there and it was fun at the time. And it got me in a bad crowd. But i am talking about my drinking side.
I admit I was a borderline alcoholic, I mean I did not drink 24/7 I did do daytime drinking. I did go on benders. Than around 2014 I was diagnosed with a liver disease called GS. Which mean myliver takes 3 days to flush out the toxins of alcohol and its something to do with high raised bulburin. And when your diagnosed with this you need to stop alcohol altogether and I never did. I have always been a self destructive person to myself. After what happened to me as a child ( sexual abuse trauma) I went off the rails. That and my mum pissing off after that and lying to my face she was going down town for a few hrs. Not to come back. I had a lot to deal with. It weren’t my dad’s fault or anyones ..I delt with it the wrong way. Because I did not know how to. I was labeled a naughty child with behavior problems who struggled in mainstream school who was a loner for 6 years in primary school and had not any friends at all growing up. I attempted my life more than 11 times because I felt lost I never knew who I was. And why I never fitted in and when I tried to fit in it always came down to drink to actually fit because it was the in thing to do. I was misdiagnosed with BPD around 2012. And i was giving an array of different antidepressants anti psychotic drugs etc. It got to the point I was zombied out my head. And was sleeping. I could never keep a job I was in and out of jobs since I was 16. I got bored and onto the next it was the same with hobbies. Than I have these ideas I never fulfilled. And they kept going and coming and going. While I loved routine and eating the same foods. Part me was chaotic and impulsive. And I had no sense of danger what so ever. Nearly been run over more than once. Fell of my bike more than once have a scar under my chin for falling of my bike and going over the handles..I run away a lot to London as a kid. And London was a dangerous place for a teenager girl but I never gave a shit. The older I got the more I loved danger and risking things. I drink to forget i drink to drown my ptsd trauma of what happened to me as a kid.
Drink was the only thing that was there for me. I thought drink understood me no it made me even more self destructive. And like Alice in wonderland I was going down a very black rabbit hole. Something shook me and a woken my senses. And it was when I walked into Waterstones . I see a book on buddhism. I thought I give it a read. And the more I read the more I wanted to learn more about buddhism and I want to adapted it to my life. It weren’t plain sailing at first. I still drunk but not to the pont where I could not remember. I started watching dalai lama. And his words changed my outlook. It took a while and many years to sink in. I went though every talk he did. I started to find more books , I joined a small Buddhist group , and went to a temple in London. I was still drinking.
I’m going to move forward to 2015 /16 , after I left my ex ex . The one who controlled and beat me etc. I went of the rails again after that. I ended up drinking even more and made myself very self destructive..see patterns are forming. Than I decided. Actually I don’t think I have bpd despite my Bpd diagnosis. I think it was more PTSD behaviour.
Than I came across autism ( at the time aspergers). I sat on my computer weighing up Bpd & Asd . And the more I looked the more Asd was saying me. Yes while you can have both that can over lap. Mine was saying no you don’t have bpd. So I went to see my doctor. And I said to her I feel my bpd diagnosis is wrong. She asked me why. I said I have been looking at ASD . and I feel I tick that box more. She asked me many question about childhood / friends / life at that time. She noted my answers down. Than she said she will refer me to the autism & adhd team in kettering. This was around 2015 I think as i was diagnosed 2017 but I’m not here to talk about set dates. Anyway I waited. Than had some forms to fill out. Which I did. They told me I could be waiting a few years to be seen.. moving on to 2017 when I was diagnosed with aspergers ( now ASD). it took 2 years for it to sink in..it weren’t a bad thing..but when you look back from up there and how I went of the radar. It kind of upset me and made me happy that after all that time age 31 I was autistic and had been autistic all my life. The reason why I was hell bent on destroying myself was because I was an ND , in a NT world and it was not designed or fitted for me you I ( us the tribe).
I was a borderline alcoholic because of being autistic. But i ask myself this every damn day. Why did I not stop drinking than. To be honest I was still getting to know about my autism diagnosis. While the drinking calmed down. I still was shit with people and social skills. And drink gave me that mask and extra confidence. I still had imposter syndrome. Despite having a autism diagnosis.
Let’s move on to 2019. When i started this blog. I don’t know why I started this blog. I thought I could give others a birds eye view of what’s goes in an autistic mind and daily life and share my experiences. While it left the door of vulnerability open and a world into my private life. I wanted to give a voice to the unseen / unheard and maybe they could relate to it.. I am not an advocate. But I can be a listening ear to those who like me be that undiagnosed / diagnosed.
Let’s go back to 2018. When I joined the gym as a shy Introvet 6st and bit skinny lass. When I joined the gym I never lifted weights in my life. All did was get on cardio machines. Etc. I was intimidated by the big blokes in the free weights room scared i get laughed at. I joined around August..than a month in September. 2018 I went into the weight room and lifted the lightest 5kg dumbell and enjoyed it . Than discovering weight training / strength training. And that changed my life.
So I’ve gone forward to 2019 and back to 2018 where still working out drinking less. 2019 my blog. And I’m building up confidence in the gym and sharing with the world in 2019.
Fast forward to 2020. Cv19 everywhere shuts gyms etc. I had equipment already. And it was this decision where I decided to stop drinking for good. And I brought more equipment. And started working out from home. I never tracked my workouts and wrote them down till November 2020. As much as I had a routine for the gym I was making progress. But the drink hinder it too. So I made a routine at home. Went on different websites..tried different weight workouts also hiit tabata etc. Was seeing changes. Also at this time I went full pescatarian and ate vegan and veggie foods. I was seeing more changes due to nutrition choices.
So come 2021 I was working out full time from home for 1 year and I enjoyed it and I shared my fitness journey via Instagram and how sober I was getting changing life style habits. And nutrition. Than I get an OT in January 2021. And when we first video called and spoke . We got to know one another than we spoke more over the phone and than more video calls. It was this time me and her both said I think I maybe adhd too. And we talked about that more. And she gave me a questionnaire over video call. And as you know April /may 2021 I was diagnosed adhd.
So at that time having a both diagnosis of autism and adhd. I understood while all them years ago why I was the way I was. And yes adhd you can have drink and drug abuse. If you go off the radar like I did. And it finally made sense in my head. Why the drink made me so self destructive. My autism was the first part but I still did it. But I was still fighting unknown adhd . And my OT opened my eyes to this. My brain was going 10000 miles an hour I was angry and having outbursts . Punching walls etc. Because I thought drink would solve what ever was in my brain and mind. Since being 1 year 5 months sober my mind has never been clearer. Health wise. Mentally / Physically. Body changes. Food wise. Being on ritalin i am not angry or flying into rage. As much as I was calm ish before the adhd diagnosis. I was still an angry rage and the smallest thing would set me off. Now I just like cool let’s move on.
I’m still learning more about my adhd. But I don’t want to say ritalin has solved or done a magic wand but I don’t get angry anymore. My brain don’t race at stupid mile an hour I have no outburst. I’m reading books and watching movies and cleaning like Kim woodburn. Nothing is ever left in a pile. I am remembering things ( most of the time) yeah I take 10mg and altogether it last 8hrs (4hrs each) but it Gives me productivity. And I don’t need pre workout for when I workout. I’ve had no side effects anymore and I am on a low dose. But I don’t feel chaotic and spontaneous or impulsiveness. OK when it wears off i do. Its nice having that feeling of ritalin. I wish I had it before I went of the rail’s all them years ago. But I can’t change the past and how girls where not diagnosed as adhd much. I like many others flew off the radar and masked till my adult life. It could of ended up worse for me. But seeking out help and counteracting it with fitness and helped me out a lot. Fitness and buddhism and 2 diagnosis gave me a reason to keep going on and living. And being sober showed me the underlying me ..the real me. And I glad I discovered her again. While I did find her she has many challenges the sober kerri . Is more in herself does not like drama and only has a few friends. She likes her own company. She travels alone/ eats alone. And she also meets others while passing though. From coach journeys to London days out. To the people she just gets chatting to in the cafe. Its not small talk. This kerri enjoys the freedom of being herself and does it alone while challenging herself and going out her comfort zone. And making big scaring autistic / adhd steps. Than gets greeted by her two cats when she does this after a long day.
Than she does her fitness 3x a week . And she is loving and liking the person she has found since becoming sober. Underneath the drink and destruction was a person who just wanted to be found amongst the alcohol masking wreckage. Being sober for me and being a Buddhist was all about finding me and who I really was. Buddhism gave me where I could become at peace with myself after 34 years. Fitness gave me a healthy habit and helped me with my adhd. Writing a blog gave me an outlet to speak to others like myself. And how I go about the NT world and how I battle support services etc.
While I do all these great wonderful things. I like you us the tribe. ( I have the good days / bad days / the days I hide from the world.Days i don’t function etc.
Than how do i keep on the sober wagon. I look at this photo of me ( which will be under here. Than i look at me now . And realise I have come a long way .. not just being sober but every part of me and my being has been a journey. To getting to this point.
Can I tell you the upsides of having adhd ? , well for me. Being ASD too.
But I would like to tell you more about me and my ADHD side. I don’t know if its up the anty of ritalin or its just me being daring and stepping out of that comfort zone. Maybe a bit a both who knows. I do this thing every now and again and I get on Google maps sometimes of London ( its my favorite place and when you email places in advance to let them know your autistic 9/10 your be welcomed with open arms. ( not had a bad apple yet to be honest).
Anyway let me get to the point ( waffling again)…. So like I say i go on Google maps for a good hour or 2 and find a place i have never been before or its a bucket list. And I look at reviews etc and having a nose on the said website I am on. Than I get to know the map tube station directions ( I look eons of times ) . So I can get to know a photographic memory in my head even from street view. I make it stick. Than once I done that. I email said place let them know about me and to expect me and my hidden disability. And so fourth.
And today I was met with great response from fortnum and mason for afternoon tea. ( yes I’m 35 in 5 months) autism side I plan ahead from reservation to train ticket ). But Stephen the lovely guy i spoke to via email got back to me and he said he have a pleasure in welcoming me and sharing my 35th birthday. Yes I do a lot of things on my own. Always have and I don’t really care if I do. Also as bucket list I wanted afternoon tea in there establishment. And I am going. First time visiting. This what I mean I step out of my comfort zone while it looks like I’m doing the ole brave thing ( hate that word i detest it). Its more of me challenging my Autism and adhd. And how i can go out my comfort zone and those boundaries. Am I scared yes. Nervous yes. Excited a little. Being a Buddhist I try put mindset within this of being out my own boundaries. I know I am going to be looked after by F&M they assured me of it. And also its a reason to get suited and booted and dressed up. Yes I am an alternative tattooed lass. But i can scrub up well. I enjoy doing. It gives me confidence and it makes me feel better in my own wellbeing. And it helps the PTSD and MH. Don’t get me wrong if I am in Camden your catch me in pvc jeans and new rock boots and cut off denim jacket with my tattoo’s showing. But I dress different for many different places in London. And its great.
While I do these things and book them in advance so early its me mentally challenging myself and working up to it. And people on my Instagram just think I walk out the door and I can do it. I can if I was going to shop or my normal walk route in the countryside. Or my tattooist. But other places have to be booked and I have to get my mindset at that point. Its like a ladder and your climbing to the top and that’s why I do it.
And I recommend the same advice to any other autistic / adhd folk if you feel you can’t do it. Do what I do and book months or weeks in advance and challenge yourself to it. I’ve done it with most things. And when you do it. You feel accomplished. Like I say its rare I do these but if its something I really want to do than I will do it.
But I will leave you with thought. And the lovely email I received from Stephen from F&M tearooms
Hi all , I got my pip award letter back. As you know my OT wrote a huge long letter about my autism / adhd and how it effects me. Also i sent of my diagnosis of both.
She award me 10 for motobilty , and 9 for daily living, she looked at my pip from 2016 when I had a misdiagnosis. And said nothing had change. What the actual hell , did I not send you 2 bloody diagnosis of autism / adhd and my OT letter explain how this effects me.
She also stated back in 2016 i talk to my friend daily ( this is 4 years ago I don’t have that friend anymore. And than on the communication I just need prompting to talk to others. Erm I have 2 friends . I have more wildlife animals as friend for fuck sake. I don’t really go out. Oh the reading bit thing on there to. They assume I can understand basic complex written information. ( hense the Alice in wonderland land ticket balls up i had. And other things.
Oh get this one mixing with other people. You need prompting by another person to engage. Erm no I don’t really social I hate groups and of places I go get to busy I leg it out of there. When I went to Alice in wonderland exhibition. There was more to see but it was busy. So I just saw what I saw.
I don’t want to sound ungrateful because i am not. The reason for my letter sending and evidence etc was to get enhanced so I could attend a day centre and do a workshop. But its 70 a day. On standard money I can’t do it and meet others like myself and social that way. Its the reason why my OT made a big fuss about it. So I could actually pay for my own care in this day centre.
I just think the dwp are ableist arseholes. And they could not be asked to look at both diagnosis and letter from OT. And just kept talking about 2016. Erm stop living in the past my medical has changed telling me its not ..is sure bullshit. I can’t to anything now. So I have messaged my OT and let her know and go from there.
So today, I ventured to London to see the Alice in wonderland exhibition. I was very early, so I stopped off in a nearby cafe. When it was time I had to phone Laura , I had a direct number to her. I phoned Laura and let her know I was outside, she came and fetched me. We spoke about how long since I’ve been to the V&A I said a few years or more.
I had to show my ticket entry and this is where the entry technicalities begin. I did not know you book an entry ticket than you book another. Its so confusing. I was panicking thinking I’ve travelled an hour and a half and I did a stupid. Plus spending £50 to get there. Laura told me not to worry and she speak to someone about a ticket entry. Laura said it was fully booked today too. Me worrying thinking argh how can I be so silly and not realise what I done. So Laura went to her colleague. ( never asked her name) and laura came back with same colleague, and said they would get me a ticket to the exhibition. So my mind is not going panic stations anymore. We gone from red alert to normal ish. So the young lady name who I never got ( stupid me ). Handed me the ticket and said don’t worry no charge. I was like really? , she said its fine you go and enjoy yourself. I’m thinking how lovely , and what a beautiful soul and rare human. ( I am giving this wee lass some buddha blessings 🙏)
So I waited about for a bit for my guide ( assistant). Laura comes back with Caroline my guide. And what a wonderful person she is. We spoke about how much of an Alice in wonderland enthusiast i was. Even having steampunk Alice and the white rabbit tattooed on my thigh and owning a first edition book.
I asked her would it be ok to take photos of me. And she said it was fine. ( Caroline not being good with technology or ma phone bless her ) we got some good ones though.. its the thought that counts aye. We even spoke about David Bowie..and how she met RUPaul. Caroline your a legend. So we both went around the exhibition took some photos chatted some more. And it was a pleasure to know Caroline. You need more than 10 stars 🌟 . Than after the exhibition we made our way to the shop I got a print and frame. Than we went to the cafe , I needed to eat food and take my ritalin. Me and Caroline chatted more. And I told her about my buddhism and its a way of life and I’ve been doing it 14 years. After that carol had to go and do other bits in the V&A.
I can’t thank all the staff at the V&A for going out of there way to make my visit comfortable i enjoyed it very much. I’ve never felt so welcomed , and to be put at ease. They are up there with the disabilities and hidden disabilities. They go above and beyond. I could not recommend nicer people. And a nicer museum. I will be going to more exhibitions in the future to support the V&A. The kindness of people can go along way. And today showed me that. There are some rare humans about who do have that empathy and compassion and who will go out there way.
V&A your fabulous. So anyway after the V&A exhibition. I actually walked to harrods shopping center without getting lost. Yay me, and boy its fancy in there and its massive. I did not spend the crown jewles in there ( not on that sort of money) but I got me some Japanese coffee/ biscuits and a chocolate éclair. £5 but worth it. So i spent me penny’s in there. And than I walked to hyde Park. I followed directions and guess what I made it. Winning with not getting lost today. Ate my éclair under a shaded tree . Watched the world go by. And enjoyed that £5 chocolaty goodness. Than I managed to find my bus to Victoria ( more winning) and getting back to Euston. And waited for the train.
Today has been a bloody good day and I am glad I went. Best day ever 💓
13 days on ritalin of 10mg of 2 tablets each 5mg , one take in the morning one I take later in the day around 3ish.
My OT did a home visit today to catch up on things. ( sessions will be ending soon ) , she asked me how my adhd has been since taking ritalin. While I told her the first few days of 5mg one its own was OK and I had the couple of sleep crashes and headaches. It wore off very easily around 3:00. So I took another one. But have i notice changes. Yeah I have bit. I don’t want to sound all dramatic and all. But for someone who leaves the washing up for days on end, washing load cycle either done and left in the machine for days or not put on and left for days. Well ritalin , has made changes to that, I’m not leaving washing loads about and I am hanging it up, also ironing and putting it a way. ( YES EVEN SHOCKED MYSELF).
Other things I notice i am reading my books now. Not fully but about 4 pages here and there. I can also watch movies. I managed to sit though a 2hr film without stopping it or going onto something else. Also which I’ve notice I have become more of a social butterfly. And its strange because I keep myself to myself and I have about 2 friends. I am very shy and introvert and I going into myself. Ritalin is bringing an extrovert me out. I don’t know if tis good or bad. I can’t really tell. Being on my own for so long and used to ma own company. Well its just not me. I think that’s the only thing that’s giving me head fuck on ritalin. I am not saying I hate people but I just rather not and be in pillow blanket fort and listen to classical crossover.
Also my OT said if 10mg is not giving me the effects ie what I mentioned up there or even just keeping focus she said I can up it to 15mg. Everything medication wise is going though her now..as my doctor is uncaring and don’t give a shite amongst other things.
So she said when I am ready to do it. I have to let her know. For now its 10mg. Back to where I was, people on ritalin say they have a reduced appetite. Me I am the opposite I been eating loads like no junk food of course. But its good for me as I do weightlifting and cardio ( tabata & walking for 2hrs every other day.
I can say its a temporary magical assistant in your brain , a bit like the film limitless ( minus the genius things etc ) but it does help to an extent but every chemical brain adhd is different to how they react to it.
I can say also ritalin is working for me at the moment. But its a trial and error form. The cons of adhd medication if your upped your limit you could have bad side effects. Or it won’t work and than you need to change your medication again. Like trying on a pair shoes and there not to your fancy eh 😏.
I hope to see other changes too with this medication but I’m not going to lay all my cards down right now.
I went on a coach trip to the lake district , i visited kendal / bowness on windermere / Ambleside / Keswick.
This was for 1 night stay over , 26/27th June. I never got much time in Ambleside or Keswick. But I saw what I got to see plus it was a change of scenery. I have always been an avid solo traveller. Like when I was 29 I got on a plane for the first time and went Barcelona , than got the bug and did 12 countries within a year. Getting back to my holiday to the lake district. My coach picked me up really early. And because your in a group bubble you all stay at the same hotel. But when you get to said destinations you go your separate ways. I made a lot of friends and people where so friendly. My anxiety brain was expecting the worse. And thought I would get abuse for not wearing a mask. But there was another lady who was exempt also. And the other people on the coach were really understanding. Its the best people experience / holiday i have had. For me going on this holiday was a change of scenery. And it was worth it . I was out in the countryside surrounded by water and greenery and mountains. And the locals were very friendly.
I had the best weekend . I got as many photos as I could. I even visited the Beatrix Potter World museum. Nostalgia and all. Being autistic and travel yes I can do these things but as you know I have to plan and plan from Google maps to everything. But having a tour guide and the towns being small it weren’t so bad. Everything was near. So you could not get lost. Thats the upsides of coach holidays they are very informal about the places your visiting and where the coach will pick you up. Once you have done your sightseeing.
It not like your left with no information..they say we are here I will pick you up here ..and they show you directions to and from where the coach is parked. And the driver gives out his number should you get lost or not know where your going. The thing I found also brilliant about the lake district. I did not need my headphones to drown out the noise. Due to sensory overload. It was very peaceful and tranquil , while it had people about it was not noise noise.. it was noise i could handle..not like being here, where I live it constantly noisy and loud and a lot going on.
But I enjoyed every experience from the lake district to the people to the places. And I would recommend anyone go and visit. Its a beautiful place. The scenery is to die for.
I am going to leave you some photos from my holiday and show you just how picturesque it is.
I remember first listening to Maroon 5 , when I lived in Yorkshire it was around 2005, about 1 week into living in Yorkshire ( Harrogate) I went to a pub , that was underground called crabtrees. And remember hearing , she will be loved and I was hooked ever since.
I thought Adam levine was different in a good way of course. Not just his music the way he sets himself apart in interviews and how he goes about making music and writing songs. I found him quirky and wonderful. Its only many years ago I found out Adam was Adhd . He was diagnosed as a teenage. And he said as he got older his adhd got worse.. he could not focus and had many ideas but he could not put them on paper. It like his brain was going at lighting speed and there was no stopping. And he could not regulate his mind and thoughts and find that right pin point to focus. We know Adam levine has endorsed adderall. Because he takes it himself. And he also said he noticed changes on his medication. His thoughts are not so fast he has a pin point in focusing. I mean we all creative somehow in different forms. Be that on medication ornot.
Me being autistic / Adhd. I can form a routine to an extent but than I cannot further it. Ie the adhd. I’ve certainly become more productive but sometimes i end up like Kim Woodburn and go into a cleaning frenzy ( not a bad thing ) i cleaned before but not so much to that level.
Getting back to Adam Levine, I know there is a myth of when your a child diagnosed with Adhd apparently you grow out of it. Well you don’t. That’s why there are so many adults who are diagnosed later in life, Same for autism.
I know there is many more celebrities with autism or adhd and its great to have that reputation for us tribe.And having Adam levine for adhd folk is fantastic. Yes every adhd person is different. But Adam shows despite having adhd his made a great career. Like us his also had obstacles. Unlike others I find him very real when he talks about things even adhd. You can just tell in his voice and the way he comes across.
I leave you 2 quotes from Adam levine
P.s I’ve had ritalin earlier so I rather not shit post on Instagram like I’ve been doing 🤣.
I don’t think I’ve touched based with this. So I will today.
We know Hans worked for the nazi regime and its why most don’t associate there diagnosis with his name.
I believe there are two sides to every story and no I am not saying what he did was right . It wasn’t it was barbaric. But we were not Hans, and we you I ( tribe) was not around in that era.
I’ve seen points on reddit by others who have shared there views. And one stuck out to me. It said can you imagine being a pediatric in autism under a nazi regime.
We know Has killed people with autism when he sent them to chambers ( I don’t know how many he killed i don’t wish to know ) i am including many that were killed under the nazi regime not just autistic kids.
I think Hans never had a choice i think he had to protect himself and his family. And in order to do that he had to what he had to do. Or be killed or have the nazi regime kill all the Autistic kids or he had kill a percent. I am not Hans I don’t know what he experienced back than and what kind of position he was in . ( this is my empathy on that) ie situations. Things we can’t control and which is out of our hands.
I don’t want to upset anyone in this blog ..but I am open and I like to discuss subjects like this as genocide and barbaric as it was. I am not the bad guy here. Can I say I’ve researched articles and reddit and other bits on hans via Google.
I will say again I am not condoning this. Like most people I was diagnosed aspergers in 2017 but it was taken out the DMS 5 in 2013 but some psychiatrist still use it.
Not long ago I had someone have a pop at me because of my name both handles have aspie in it. And she told me I need to educate myself on it and what it means. ( well before my diagnosis i looked at hans ) but I’ve always had aspie before diagnosis of aspergers. Than she said you should change it. Erm no , my name has been like since 2016.
Anyway nowadays I say ASD or ASC. Each to there own no judging here.
I value everyone and there opinion when I write this. You are my tribe ♥
But being an Autistic blogger I feel I needed to touch base with one subject/blog.